life has taken on quite a new look for me. things have changed. sorry for the long long break from this page. i needed time to reevaluate what is really important in my life. if life as i was living it is actually where i want it to be and if this life is leading me towards where i want to be. i know that THIS IS my life...right now today..everyday. however everyday new events arise and sometimes i find that i am either pulled in a direction i didn't intend to choose or i am pushed back into safety and security...the comfortable. The truth is: time does go by and thats good but at the same time the choices made now are what determines how/where things end up in the future.
time has gone by but its given me time to take in anything that comes my way. i've make some moves and changes, lived through new experiences that have and will hopefully help me live my life with more intent. i am so ready to LIVE MY LIFE PURPOSEFULLY instead of ACCIDENTALLY.
i have moved to my very own apartment in downtown NW Portland. it has the most amazing vintage 1920's feel. 3rd floor with a balcony patio and a view of the bridges and Mount St Helens and the red lighted MONTGOMERY PARK sign. its so cozy. so fashionable. so me. fantastic. only 2 blocks from the oh so trendy NW 23rd Avenue (The Fashion District for portland... more or less a street than a district.. but full of the top vintage shops/local designers boutiques/ trendy upscale shopping/cafes and bars... on of portlands top places to see and be seen) i've been dating my sexy next door neighbor and hangout with him and his roomate in OUR neighborhood. this IS my neighborhood now. besides commuting to the suburbs for work for now this is pretty much the life i have worked toward and have dreamed of as the perfect one for me. i love it...
the problem: is this it? is this all?
i know life is what you make of it. but do i want to make more of what i have here? or is my reality that i wanna make my life something even more than living life in this trendy/sexy/vintage piece of portland?
i dont know. what i do know is that the boyfriend and his roomate moved last monday to california... i have yet to move to a salon in the city... and my bestfriends have chosen some less than amazing paths for their lives which have left them pushing themselves away from me. i feel somewhat lonely and bored... where does this take me? we'll see. for now i am going to actively LIVE this life... looking at it all through a happy positive outlook.
i am excited... only got one life ..gotta make it what you want it