thank you very much.

thanksgiving trip to california

just a pinch of the beautiful Logan family

me. gracie (sister). natalie (cousin). shannon (sister).

boys there's dozen's more where these girls came from.

pin curled.

Went into A-list Salon in the pearl district (nw 13th + Hoyt) this past weekend for a photoshoot "Rock-a-billy Chistmas"  The lovely miss kristina santos was the amazing stylist who worked this fabulous retro updo on me.  She did an excellent job.  These are some fun personal shots of me and kristina after the work was over and the mimosas came out.  Can't wait to see the results of this shoot.  I was very excited to be a part of this experience.  It was an early morning and a long day and yet totally worth it.

Love this chick to pieces...our history together has gone way back to the day i first met her in the dance studio...we've both undergone so many tranformations: hair color / extensions / boyfriends / salons / dance companies.  She stuns me with her awesomeness... over the past 5 years shes gone from an inexperienced red headed dancer working and living in the suburbs to an incredible woman working and living downtown with her very own modern dance company ( Lyrik ) and oh yes did i mention she is engaged to an uber talented photographer, Alleh Lindquist. Such a stunner of a guy!  Congratulations to the two of them.

Oh yes and guess who Kristina hired for her personal hairdresser for next summer's wedding?  oh yes...that would be me.  And i will be looking forward to it until it comes.

carved.

Last week headed over to the sister's house for a round of pumpkin carving, hot homemade chicken chili, and a hard cider party.  So fun getting together with the couple of us... especially that it happened to be the first real rainy rainy fall day and all we all wanted to do was get cozy, warm up, and play.

I love love loved my outfit... for some reason this just felt totally and completely ME.  Not to mention i felt like my legs looked killer in these short shorts and stilettos. sexy.  Some times i get into the mode of trying to dress like my ittle sister Grace (cosmopolitangem.blogpot.com) As you see above she has this certain cute, feminine, fashionista vibe...a look i adore on her. A look i try to vibe off of.. but when i where what she would wear i feel so totally out of my skin. Gotta remember to use her as inspiration but gotta stay true to me.  Sexy, rocker, hipster... hell i'd wanna do me!

OUTFIT:  black loose knit shirt - thrifted // black scarf - christmans gift // black tights - Urban Outfitters // denim shorts - forever 21 // stilettos - steve madden // glasses - hollywood vintage // silver bangle - thrifted

happy halloween

how amazing is this... lace tights spider web

inspired yet?

fashionable halloween this year... its gonna be big

partying mansion style...fabulous

pics up soon.

[fukusuke : stockings and socks : mccann erickson japan]

the killer inside me.

I just picked up this new movie that I'd never heard of before.  It happened to be a sundance film festival movie and featured Jessica Alba, Casey Affleck, and Kate Hudson.  The movie left me with a knot in my stomach and in need of a stiff drink, or at the very least a calming phone call with a friend.  It was just so incredibly intense and much harder to watch than most any movie I've seen. This movie is not for everyone, its one of Jim Thompson's darkest novels and explores the mind of a sociopath.  The violence is shocking, but it should be because i think the whole point is to make the viewer realize how pointless and wasteful it all is.  If it was glamorized we wouldn't get a clear view into to  understanding of the deranged the mind of a killer.  Its hard to watch but its so important to the story.  His victims are the people who love him the most..unconditionally.  And its when he his lovers that it really hits you...the way he has no regard for even those closest to him (he doesn't care to love or be loved...their commitment to him is meaningless)  It is sickeningly simple and sad.  And the most graphic moments are the moments when you get how fucked up it all is.

In all i have an unexpected appreciation for the movie.  For both the sociopathic unabashed violence, and the way Alba portrayed the role of Joyce.  Her character draws out and experiences the violent nature of her lover, which in turn allows her to embrace the dark roots within herself.  Her deep need for his love is so tragic and twisted yet theirs is an intimacy that develops through shared acceptance  for desires that most would find shameful and degrading.   For them it is a liberating discovery.  Even more intriguing is the moment Joyce unleashes with wild abandon her fierce sexuality while embracing a demure vulnerabiltiy.  She is finally able to exude a sexiness that ignites a stoic self confidence and desirable feminimity that every woman longs for.   Her true nature as a woman, as a lover is revealed and this man accepts every one of her deep desires. 

Her character is one that leaves me obsessed and reeling.  Her style and glamour is pure and striking.  Her presence and soul...though deepley depressing... is so hauntingly beautiful.  In a sense i completely understand Joyce...I've been there and i want to capture this role in my soul and let others be captivated by me in the same way i was captivated by this woman's raw broken beauty.

She is simply a woman desiring to love and be loved. desperate. longing. lost.     but hopeful.

kisses.

dusting off 2005.

The trendiest fad graphic tee of 2005.  It came... it stayed... it left as though it never even existed.  Attention ladies and gents the bloody reminder of older times has emerged once again... from the back of my closet...dug up in my move to the city.  There it sat...next to the pile of goodwill giveaways.  The problem being that it was just much too nostalgic to part with... so as the month passed by and more and more items were making it to the donation pile i had to find a use for this piece of history.  But try as i might... there is just no way of wearing this shirt in public without looking like a poor fashion mishap.  Some may say this one was ALWAYS a faux paux.  How though when everyone from the likes of Ashton Kutcher in his punked days..Pamela Anderson in her post plastic mess..the fashion forward..and the preppy hipster highschool kids were all plasrered in this t-shirt.  Dressed up or dressed down...this was no mistake.  Maybe it was in poor taste to wear this religious symbol as a fashion.

But as i see it... if you love Jesus why not make a statement?

And that statement is one that i still don't wanna bury.  In a time when its fashionable to wear rosaries and crosses... let those of us who want to wear them proudly and stylishly wear them as a token of our faith and beliefs.  And so as there is no way to even be caught dead wearing this old trend... i have found a new use.. possibly even a better use for this piece of cotton.

And so last night at midnight... i got the creativity up to whip what i needed to together to turn this baby out!  Scavenged the house for my white thread... dusted off the sewing machine... found my fabric scissors and my freestyle talent.  And the result was this little beauty!  OW!  Pretty damn hot if i do say so myself.  I am satisfied.  And i can't wait to get some more DIY projects done and on display.

Needless to say i am very excited... keep coming back for more!





kisses.

escape.

hello lovlies.

life has taken on quite a new look for me.  things have changed.  sorry for the long long break from this page.  i needed time to reevaluate what is really important in my life.  if life as i was living it is actually where i want it to be and if this life is leading me towards where i want to be.  i know that THIS IS my life...right now today..everyday.  however everyday new events arise and sometimes i find that i am either pulled in a direction i didn't intend to choose or i am pushed back into safety and security...the comfortable.  The truth is: time does go by and thats good but at the same time the choices made now are what determines how/where things end up in the future.

time has gone by but its given me time to take in anything that comes my way. i've make some moves and changes, lived through new experiences that have and will hopefully help me live my life with more intent. i am so ready to LIVE MY LIFE PURPOSEFULLY instead of ACCIDENTALLY.

i have moved to my very own apartment in downtown NW Portland.  it has the most amazing vintage 1920's feel.  3rd floor with a balcony patio and a view of the bridges and Mount St Helens and the red lighted MONTGOMERY PARK sign.  its so cozy. so fashionable. so me.  fantastic.  only 2 blocks from the oh so trendy NW 23rd Avenue (The Fashion District for portland... more or less a street than a district.. but full of the top vintage shops/local designers boutiques/ trendy upscale shopping/cafes and bars... on of portlands top places to see and be seen)  i've been dating my sexy next door neighbor and hangout with him and his roomate in OUR neighborhood.  this IS my neighborhood now.  besides commuting to the suburbs for work for now this is pretty much the life i have worked toward and have dreamed of as the perfect one for me.  i love it...

the problem:  is this it? is this all?

i know life is what you make of it.  but do i want to make more of what i have here?  or is my reality that i wanna make my life something even more than living life in this trendy/sexy/vintage piece of portland?

i dont know.  what i do know is that the boyfriend and his roomate moved last monday to california... i have yet to move to a salon in the city... and my bestfriends have chosen some less than amazing paths for their lives which have left them pushing themselves away from me.  i feel somewhat lonely and bored... where does this take me?  we'll see. for now i am going to actively LIVE this life... looking at it all through a happy positive outlook.

i am excited... only got one life ..gotta make it what you want it




kisses.

please let me love you until you can love yourself.

For all of His children who walk away...turn their cheek...and throw Him out

Without reason or explanation.. or emotional response.

With out so much as a blink... just a blank stare of nothingness..

empty of any attempt to fight for what is so easily ignored..

blatantly letting Him slip away.

He is left heartbroken. Speechless. Hurt and abandoned...

(not without His own intent to fight.. His desire to love)

but because of the willingness of those who let themselves parish..

those who are stoic in this choice.. this flight toward nothingness.. a sudden step into empty. Alone.

Lost.

His love is unfailing.. unwavering..

Although it seems as though what was done had left His love in disrepair

as though He had been pushed to His limits and had given up all hope.

He never let that love leave His heart.

For it has remained steady and unchanged... laying in wait.. patient

In hopes that one day those who turned their backs would see a glimpse

a reminder of that love (their Lover) whom they at once had pushed aside.. their first love.

His is ready and will always take them in.. receive them with love...

opened by their sorrowful tears.. accepted by their humility..

forgiven by the Unconditional Love.. the grace.. of the One

who has and does wash away the anguish.. forget the heartbreak..

and revel in the amazement of a heart.. a life.. His child..

Returning.


[laurenjean.]







kisses.

stitched up.

ok so i really wish i had the time to update my blog more often... 

sorry guys but thank you thank you thank you for following i appreciate you all so much. 
I love keepin this baby up and running. It really gives me a reason to get myself ready with a purpose every morning.  
The sad part being when my life gets too busy to click pictures of some of my favorite outfits. 
Sometimes i just get home from a long busy day of styling and dancing and errands and happy hours that 
all i wanna do is tear off my look.. drop it on the floor.. crawl under my covers.. only to close my eyes and 
START IT ALL OVER THE NEXT MORNING. 
I promise i will make a point of being better at that. Especially cuz i've been stuck in a second-hand vintage SHOPPING frenzy. 
When my life gets hectic i ALWAYS turn to op shopping... it stimulates me and relaxes me at the same time. 
Call it my DRUG....
hey we all need a vice to get us through the days...and at least mine means adding to my collection. 
over and over and over again. 

black corset : House of Vintage

black T shirt : Target

Jeans : Earnest Sewn

Black Leather Boots : MIA

Necklaces : Thrifted

Okay and so do you just love the corset wrapping me up in my outfit today... Once again another look i have been 

dying to try since seeing MegaB rock a similar outfit on her lookbook/blog Absolutely Oblivious. So stylish. I picked 

up this vintage black satin lace up corset at yet another vintage store on Hawthorne Blvd. One of my fovorite 

shopping spots... that is other than my local suburban goodwill/ ValueVillage (i swear the ladies out in the burbs give 

away some of the most fantastic pieces of clothing..or shall i say donate... to ME!) I love how the corset sexes up my 

VERY WORK APPROPRIATE outfit.. only problem is the corset makes washing ladies hair in the salon sink super 

straining on my back... but you know: Beauty is Pain.

kisses.

nothing's ever really dead.

and plaid does not HAVE to be dead yet

but does it ever really go away entirely.. i think not

and so i bought a rad red one in the mens section of goodwill last night

along with MANY other goodies... 

Furs and such to be a little more precise.

at one point i was trying on piece after piece out in the open only to turn about

and find 3 little bitty girls dressed in skirts and bobs complimenting ME

"that is so fashionable" - -  - "she is SO stylish"

oh my word i just about died.

i remember looking up to the women in the lipstick and stilettos when i was a babe

and now i am one of those fairytale beauties

i smiled and responded

"thank you very much.. and you girls look so pretty in your beautiful pink dresses"

they blushed and twirled on their toes holding out their skirts head tilted in admiration and awe

a perfect day at the thrift shop

kisses